Around 5:00 that morning I awoke to what would be the most miserable week I have ever experienced as of late. I was unreasonably cold and shivering uncontrollably...and that was just the beginning. I ended up spending almost the entire week on the couch with the flu, running a fever and aching and praying that I wasn't baking my baby. For anyone who has been pregnant and had the flu, I'm sure you would agree you look and feel like you've experienced demonic possession. Or, as my doctor told me, you are sick twice as long and twice as bad as any normal person. I had called the doctor right away, of course, and had an appointment scheduled for the next day, which was when things really took a turn.
I could barely make it to my appointment that day. When I arrived and they listened to the baby's heartbeat it was a little slow and irregular. I was put on the fetal monitor, but she wouldn't sit still for them to get a good read. I was asked to come back the next day.
Kyle accompanied me for support on Thursday. We arrived to find out that the heartbeat was then too fast and irregular. At that point the doctor told us it could be something she would outgrow, but it could mean a blocked valve that they would have to handle with surgery. They were sending us to a specialist for a better diagnosis.
None of this had to do with the fact that I was sick, but I can tell you it sure made things much harder to deal with. We had told ourselves that everything would be fine, but truthfully, we were terrified. A tiny heart is nothing to take lightly.
That night, despite being completely run down, I barely slept. We had told ourselves it could only be the best possible outcome, but our hearts were a little bit broken at the suggestion it might not be. For anyone who has ever been through anything similar, you can attest that you stop hearing anything after the mention that there could be something wrong with your baby.
I was very thankful that our appointment was scheduled right away the next morning. We were sent to the doctors at the Perinatal Center at Mercy who specialize in fetal diagnosis. After an ultrasound and heart monitoring, they determined that our little girl was going to be just fine...no blocked valve, just a skip in heartbeat here and there, which is not harmful at all. To top it all off, we got some more great pictures.
Any parent will tell you that the worry starts as soon as you find out you are pregnant, and I'm sure that this is just one of many scares we will have through the upcoming years. Still, I am not sure I have ever felt the same type of panic I experienced over the course of those few days. Just the feeling of responsibility for that tiny life alone is enough to handle. We are very fortunate that our baby is healthy and I will never forget that.
The next morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. I'm not sure if it was the relief that helped me turn the corner, or if my body was finally on the rebound, but I actually showered, put on makeup and got dressed in an outfit that did not consist of flannel pajamas and a fluffy robe. It was such a big accomplishment that I celebrated by eating a giant cheeseburger and a mountain of ice cream.*
*Disclaimer - Yes, I am being conscious about eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, too. Lay off me, I was starving.
No comments:
Post a Comment